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May 3, 2012 by Daddy Digest

I think that I try to set my kids up to succeed at every possible chance that I get.  I want them to push themselves as hard as they can go until they get to the breaking point, roll over with exhaustion, and  the satisfaction of being a winner.  Apparently, I have not prepared them to be graceful losers though.

It is very apparent that even the small things set them off and they begin to start flailing around like little sacks of blubbering whiners.  When Rylan (6) played basketball at the beginning of the year he loved being on a team with his friends.  They blew through the season with six wins and only one loss.  That one loss did not bother him at all.  It was like water off a ducks back.

It is the silly things that get their eyes leaking and their bottom lips poking out.  Anything could set them off, the loss of a game on the XBOX, a small noise uttered during The Quiet Game that cost them the game, or even a defeat at racing to the dinner table.  I never made it a bad thing to lose when teaching them about winning and losing.  I never even made it to where the only option was winning!  I always just try to get them to focus on trying their hardest no matter what.  I usually tell them to “do what you do, and do it well”.  I don’t tell them to do things perfect or without making any sort of mistakes because that’s how we learn.

I guess it could be worse though.  It could be that every time that they won at something they were overjoyed and caused them to emit extra gaseous odors or something.  Until next time remember winning is not everything, but the effort to win is.

May 1, 2012 by Traci Shannon

What’s on your most dreaded list? Death? Taxes? Root Canal? How about moving? It’s certainly on my list.  And… cue “Jaws” theme… my family and I are headlong into a move right now.

Now, this move is an exciting one. After years of living in a much too small apartment, we have found a beautiful home. But as happy as we are, no one likes the process of moving. Nothing is where it is supposed to be. The schedule is shot. Nerves are frayed.

So how do you keep your sanity and the sanity of everyone else in the household while you’re at it? Here’s what we’re trying…

1)      Give yourself as much time as possible. We are overlapping the two places by a month. This has allowed us the opportunity to pace the relocation of our belongings. I have established the “Don’t bring it until I can hang it” rule. In other words, if it doesn’t have a home, it’s not yet coming home.

This is a luxury that I have not often had. So what if you do not have the time or if the distance between your two homes makes multiple trips impossible? I recommend creating a sorting room. Bring all the boxes into one area and direct from there. Have each family member claim a box for their room and not come back until the box is empty. Give a new box until they return with the empty box. I then break down that box and stack it for recycling. This helps me keep us from living in a maze of boxes.

2)      Don’t be afraid to include the kids. I have had my kids take responsibility for their toys. I have not packed a toy and don’t intend on doing so. They know that they won’t have a certain toy with which to play until they put it in its proper container, box, or bin. This has been a pretty effective incentive. Also, it has made them take a really good look at their vast toy collection. “If Mom is going to make me pack it, do I really want it?” We are using this time to throw away broken toys and donate outgrown toys.

3)      Remember to exercise patience with yourself and each other. Moving is stressful. If you are feeling stressed, you can bet that the kids are feeling it, too. Two nights ago, my husband and I were about to pull out our hair. In a twenty minute period, the kids had gotten into three squabbles, a drink had been spilled, and a box knocked over. We had begun to use our very frustrated voices when I realized what we sounded like. He and I had not been our best selves either as the sheer magnitude of the day began to take over. If we couldn’t use our nice voices, stay calm, and be our best selves, how could we be angry that they weren’t? So we all took a “Family time out”. We sat on the couch together, took a collective deep breath, talked about what the happy parts of the move, and resolved all to do better. That lasted for about 30 minutes – but what a great half hour!

Seriously, though, remember that moves under the best circumstances are hard work emotionally and physically. Do what you can to take breaks before it overwhelms you. And remember, it will all be worth it when you are settled into your new home.

It’s almost time to hit the road, get on an airplane or just go visit friends and relatives.   David ad I recently did a 7 day, 5 states- Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama and Florida car trip!

We did not kill each other and had a good time. I collected some hints along the way that may help you if you are going to be traveling by car.

A.  Always count luggage or bags. If 5 go into the hotel, then 5 must come out!

I designate bags by purpose. My purplerolling luggage, the zebra stripe “work” bag with paper work and a few files. The blue “electronics” bag, has all of the gadgets and chargers in it! A pink “reading” bag…a book or two, some newspapers and the magazines I have not been able to get to. (I tear off the mailing label and leave the mags in the hotel room for the next guest. The brown “food” bag is a sturdy shopping bag with handles.  All of our snacks, extra take out “stuff” and any thing that is edible that but does not need to be refrigerated goes in. This goes in the auto not the trunk!

B. Be sure every one has there own bag!

They are responsible for it and what goes in and out of their bag! If something is left behind…it’s their problem.

C. Carry in only what is needed for that stay, especially if it’s only one night.

You can put a change of clothes in a zip bag for each child and leave the rest in the car! Put the dirty clothes in the zip bag and into the luggage the next day.

D. Do check for special rates on the internet and make lunch your bigeset meal.

Lunch is cheaper then dinner and you can eat pretty darn well at some buffets.

E.  Every one has a “space”

…we divide the bathroom counter in half, I usually take the left and David get’s the right side. ( Confession…I really usually take the largest space!) In the car, same thing…even to cup holders and plugs for cell phones.

F.  FUN!!!

Do bring along some fun games, or little presents. Even a grab bag of little things to have handy. Maybe the surprise is at the middle of the trip for that day or, when people start to get tired and cranky. (Who me? After 7 hours in the car?)

G. Gather the unused extra coffee and tea items in your room…

and toss them in the food bag. They come in handy if the next stop only has one or two coffee packs!

H. Health!

Yes, even on a vacation, it’s important to keep some health hints in mind. Carry antibacterial wipes and gel. Use the wipes in the hotel to clean, door knobs, faucets, remote control and the phone! Stop every few hours and get out of the car! Walk around and do some stretching.

I.  It pays to do laundry!

If you are gone for a while, you don’t need a change of clothes for each day! Mix and match, especially with T-shirts, shorts, jeans and tops. Most motels have laundry facilities, so throw in a load when you get there and you won’t have to lug a lot of clothes for the trip.

J. Just relax if you can!

Try to enjoy the funny and sometimes crazy things that happen! If stuck in traffic and you can not change it, sing a song, tell jokes, have your kids make up a story.

K. Keep safe!

This is the time to stay alert. If going by car and staying at motels, try to park as close to your room as possible. Back in so the trunk faces the building. Don’t leave things showing in the “cabin” of the auto. Hide the GPS etc., and if needed cover items with a towel etc. Don’t leave electronics out in your room.

Always put the Do-Not-Disturb sign on the door, all of the time, and do put on the security chain or lock.  Leave the T.V. on when out, so it sounds like someone is in the room.

L. Look around for new things!

We started counting a chain of small coffee shops that runs all along the highway! I think our count got past 50! Yes, we did stop and had a late breakfast.

These are just a few hints for now! I’d love to hear what you do on a family trip to make it run smooth (well as smooth as possible!) or save some money as well as some time getting on the road.

Pack light, make things do double duty, keep track of items, make kids responsible for some job so they are part of the team and think like me! Tomorrow is another day!!)

Here’s to fun and safe travels!!

Hugs,

Heloise

March 1, 2012 by Traci Shannon

So even with our mild winters here in Texas, I still feel the pull of Spring. And it’s closer than we think. Three weeks and counting…

So do you Spring Clean? I do.  I love the feeling of starting the new season with baseboards washed and windows cleaned. It is healing to me, both emotionally and physically. We may not shut ourselves indoors for the three months but I still like to invite the open windows of the warmer months with open arms.

Now that my kids are getting older, I am trying to include them. I start with the toys. It’s been three months since Christmas and I try to use this as an opportunity to encourage them to let go of a few things. (Before the holiday is great time to encourage sharing, as well. If that doesn’t work, try the “make room for presents” argument.) But now time has passed and more toys have probably joined the dusty recesses in the back of the closet. When they were younger, I would simply clean out the toys for them but now that they are older, I include them. I think it is a great way to teach them the responsibility that goes with having so many wonderful things. It also helps me avoid being featured on A & E’s Hoarders!

Now you may be thinking that Spring Cleaning is so much more than straightening toys and you’re right. And, like me, you may not want them handling chemicals. But don’t let that scare you away from involving them in the process. There are many ways they can help safely.

First, my daughter loves, Loves, LOVES to sweep. And while she can be a little dangerous with a full-sized broom, as it is a couple of feet taller than she, she is a whiz with the dust pan. She actually takes her time and gets every last piece of dust. (Sometimes this can be testing when I am trying to hurry her up on a daily basis but it is brilliant as a part of this project!) I send her into the corners to get all those difficult spaces. She also loves dusting.

My son is older and not as keen on cleaning but he does like making things shiny. So I dampen a cleaning cloth with vinegar and let him go to town. Although this is a natural cleaner, I do still recommend gloves. Any scrape or abrasion on their hands can burn with vinegar. There are lots of resources for effective and family friendly cleaners including the marvelous Heloise!

Depending on the ages of your children, they may be able to help with vacuuming. And if you let them keep whatever change they find, I find the school-age children will hand-vacuum under the cushions. Whatever your needs on a daily or annual basis, be creative. Younger children often respond to games and older children love bribes rewards. Remember your attitude sets the tone. If you act like its grunt work, they will think it is. If you’re excited, they will be, too.

So those are my thoughts. What are yours? Do you spring clean? With or without kids?

Join Dr. Smith’s Diaper Rash Ointment and Macaroni Kid this Wednesday, February 22nd at 9pm EST for a Problem Solved Twitter Party!  We’ll be crowd sourcing solutions to common problems parents face.

“What better source of wisdom to solve common problems faced by moms than other moms,” said Joyce Shulman, Macaroni Kid’s Chief Macaroni Mom (@macaronikidHQ).  “We wondered what other great mom-generated solutions are out there, so we decided to bring moms together and ask.”

January 31, 2012 by Daddy Digest

We purchased a new car not in September of last year.  It is one of those that has a counter that tells you when it is time for you to drive down to your local dealership and get your whatever changed or your whatever rotated whenever it tells you to.  It usually starts out at 100% and counts down with normal use and mileage calculated in.  I don’t really like this setup though and here is why.

My car, which will be turning 13 very soon, does not have this digital feature.  I go and get my oil changed when I need and actually when my schedule permits.  Now on the newer vehicles it throws up every text warning, dings every chime, and flashes every light in the instrument panel.  If someone is riding with me in the car and it happens to be around that time I may get that look like “hey buddy….are you doing to do something about all of those lights and warnings and stuff?” and that can be embarrassing.

Another thing is WHY do they say you MUST bring your vehicle in for service at 15% remaining?   So does that mean that our vehicle only really gets 85% of the old life?  Then they feed you the lines like “you don’t want “neglect of service in a timely manner” to be in your vehicle report do you?” or “not getting it serviced when scheduled could forfeit your warranty buddy!”

I am a person who likes to get a friendly reminder when it is time for a service to be done or an appointment somewhere.  I do not like being bugged and shuffled in early to do it.  That would be like going to the Dr.’s office because he wanted you to come in when he thought it was time and then he said “I am going to give you all of these pills because I think in a couple of weeks you are going to get sick!”  NO!  Wait till I am hacking all up in your office and let me be at 0%-2% when I get my fluids harassed in my vehicle.  Biggest tip I could ever give….keep track of your own maintenance and read the policy of extended warranties and their guidelines.  Don’t be pressured into doing anything that you don’t have to until it is time to do so!

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January 3rd, 2012 by Isabel North

I’m sure many of you have made New Years Resolutions as we begin 2012 and one of the most common ones include losing weight and being healthier. For most people, this involves fad diets and gym memberships; after all, these were always on my list and they always made their way to the backburner by the end of that year.

What I’ve learned over the past few years is that losing weight and being healthier have more to do with a lifestyle change than anything else. I’m happy to say that “being more healthy” isn’t on my resolutions list anymore because it’s something that I just do as part of my life now. Eating whole, organic foods is part of my weekly routine of grocery shopping and cooking and losing (or maintaining) weight is just a result of this regular routine of eating healthier. No fad diets, no spending hours on end at the gym (who has time for that?).

So in order to help you make your New Years resolution of being healthier stick around for life and better yet, on a budget, I thought I’d share a few tips:

Reduce processed foods – If it’s boxed, bagged, canned or jarred and has a list of ingredients on the label, it’s processed. Processed foods have been altered from their natural state for “safety” and convenience reasons. And scary as it seems, about 90 percent of the money that Americans spend on food is used to buy processed items.

Now I know it’s very difficult in our busy lives to totally eliminate processed foods, but if you can make your own beans rather than buying them from a can, you are already eating healthier. Most of the time, these processed foods come with a list of ingredients to preserve their shelf life and enhance their flavor and they are laden with sweeteners, salts, artificial flavors, factory-created fats, colorings, chemicals that alter texture, and preservatives.  These ingredients provide no health benefits and can be a hindrance to a healthier you and even losing weight.

Read ingredients – I know it might be difficult to eliminate ALL processed foods (after all, I’m going to be churning my own butter), but if you can reduce the amount of processed foods AND learn about the foods that you are buying in a box, can or jar then you can have a good combination of health and convenience My rule of thumb is if I can’t pronounce or if I’ve never heard of the ingredient, I don’t buy it.

I also try to stick with certified USDA Organic brands and read their ingredients. Usually the list is short and I know what is in it. I’m not saying that buying organic brands guarantees health; there are plenty of organic brands that are guilty of being just as unhealthy as their unorganic counterparts, but what I’ve learned is that organic brands help facilitate the process of elimination of brands much easier. I started learning how to read ingredients by buying a little pocket book on Amazon that had a whole list of them so while I was shopping, I would look them up and see what it was that I was looking to buy. After a few shopping trips, I no longer needed the pocket book and I knew which brands I could count on and stuck with them.

Eat more whole foods – When you eat more whole foods, you are starting the process of reducing the amount of processed foods and when you begin to eat more whole foods, you will quickly notice a healthier you (weight loss, skin glow, better mood and sleep, etc). So what do I mean by whole foods? To me, eating whole foods means eating foods that don’t have additives but are instead exactly as they come from the earth.

Examples of this include buying fresh fruit and vegetables instead of canned and eating more whole grains. I can’t even remember the last time I bought a can of corn or green beans. Instead I go to the produce section of the grocery store, buy them whole and either steam or roast them at home. The flavor is a huge difference and it’s much more nutritious than the canned variety.

Other examples include, fresh baked bread (either at home or from a bakery) rather than a bag of bread, using raw honey or maple syrup as a sweetener instead of sugar, make your own beans instead of buying them canned (it’s so easy!). I also try to avoid oils that didn’t come from a natural source. The culprits are usually vegetable and canola. Instead I cook with Extra Virgin Olive Oil and Virgin Coconut Oil. If you like to cook with butter, stay away from margarine and try a grass-fed variety and use it in moderation.

Shop local – If you shop local, you can save money on eating organic, whole foods. There are a few ways to do this. One of the most common ways is your local farmer’s market, which can offer you many of the whole, organic fruits and vegetables you’d find at your natural food stores. For example, just this past weekend I bought 1 lb of sweet potatoes at the farmer’s market for $2, while that same pound cost me $2.50 at the grocery store. I can’t always buy everything at the farmer’s market because of where I live; the climate doesn’t allow our farmer’s to grow strawberries year-round. But I get as much as I can and just wait to eat strawberries again when they are in season.  Another way to buy local is to join a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture). CSA’s are a great way to buy local, seasonal food directly from a farmer. Here is the gist of how a CSA works: a farmer offers a certain number of “shares” to the public. Typically the share consists of a box of fruits and vegetables, but other farm products may be included. You purchase a share (aka a “membership” ) and in return receive a box of seasonal produce each week throughout the farming season. It’s a great way to build very fresh, organically grown food and building relationship with a farmer where you get to visit the farm and actually SEE your food being grown and harvested.

Buy in bulk – No, I don’t mean buying at Costco or Sams.  I mean shopping in the bulk bins at your health food stores. You’d be amazed at how much you can save rather than buying in a package. You can buy everything from a huge variety grains and rice, salt and nuts. You can even get fresh ground nut butters, coffee, and honey.

Grow your own garden – This is the best and most cost effective way to eat healthy on a budget. What better way to go back to basics than growing your own food? Since you are growing the food yourself you know that you are safe from pesticides and other harmful chemicals that are often used on larger commercial farms. Depending on where you live, you can even consider raising your chickens. You can have fresh eggs from the laying hens and meat when the time is appropriate. Your organic chickens will provide you with a lot of nutrition and protein.

Hopefully, these tips give you some ways to start the New Year for a healthier new you… for life. Happy New Year and Cheers to good health and happiness in 2012!

November 23, 2011 by Daddy Digest

Growing up I was a frequent moviegoer.  My mom and I used to catch a bunch of movies together whenever something piqued my interest.  Some movies that come to mind during my time as a juvenile motion picture enthusiast are The Never ending Story, Dark Crystal, E.T., The Masters of the Universe (cartoon and live action), The Last Stafighter, The Flight of the Navigator, Ghostbusters, and Transformers the Movie.  These were some of the movies that stood out in my mind that made impressions of enjoyable films in my mind. What stands out the most though were not the films themselves but the time with my mom.

I wanted that feeling to be the same way with my kids.  I wanted to create not just a trip to the movies but an experience that they would always look back on and fondly of.

I started with telling myself that I would not take them to a movie until they were able to tell me verbally that they wanted to see a movie.  If for some reason they saw a commercial of a movie and yelled out “Me want to see that movie” then off to the theater we go.

Another thing that I felt that would be important for each child was to have their first movie watched with just daddy.  The other siblings stayed at home or did other things with mommy while the movie watcher of the day went with me and we checked out the show.  This whole occasion was really just an awesome way to create a special time between me and one of my kids.  My hope is that they see this time in front of a movie as spending time with them and that they are the focus of the day.

After the movie we usually head to a toy store to pick them up a small toy that is from the movie (if the movie has one).  I just think that that certain toy will always a connection to that movie and that special day.  Then we head on over to eat wherever they choose and usually the place have to do with golden arches.  Oh well, that’s the price you pay for great memories.

November 22, 2011 by Traci Shannon

It’s Thanksgiving! Is your heart singing as the holiday season begins? Are you dreaming of turkey and counting the moments until the family gathers around the table to say ‘thanks”? Or are you dreading the travel? Are you just waiting for the moment when the pressure becomes too much and one or all of your children has a complete meltdown in front of everyone?

If you are like me, the answer to all of the above is “yes!”

I love, Love, LOVE the holidays. I love the music, the food, and the decorations. But it doesn’t come without stress. A recipe of unrealistic expectations and distorted schedules with a dash of close quarters makes for an incredibly well-done meltdown. And that is just the adults! Double that recipe for kids!

Thus the time honored tradition of holiday tantrums!

So, what can we do to create a new tradition? Well to start, I try to check in with myself. If I’m feeling pressured and stressed, the kids will pick up on that and act out. This is heightened with the audience factor. Let’s be honest, if they know you don’t want them to act out in front of grandma, they are sure to act out in front of grandma.

Next, I can try to maintain a schedule. I did say, “Try”. Even though the loved ones may want to stay up later for some extra visiting, I try to get the kids to bed pretty close to bedtime. That’s as much for me as them. If they are tired (or if I am tired), the potential for a freak-out increases exponentially. Also, this is not the time to try to build up an appetite for the big meal. Better to let them have a healthy snack now and avoid the meltdown later; even when the older generation is tsk-tsking about spoiling the meal. Trust me, the meal will be spoiled a great deal more by a crying, tired, hungry child!

So do your best to keep the comfort level that is created by consistency. Do your best to keep your cool. But most of all remember this. The holidays are a pressure cooker. They have the ability to bring out the best and the worst in all of us. At some point, some steam will be released and history suggests that it will be when you least desire it. And don’t forget, most of those relatives surrounding you, some of them shaking their heads, have had their kids do the same thing. Just think of it as keeping a long family tradition.

October 28, 2011 by Traci Shannon

So Halloween is upon us. Or as it is known in my house — the second-most favorite holiday! As if this needs any explanation, my son would further, “because you get lots of candy, Mom!”

It is Trick-or-Treating, costumes, and of course, candy time! There is a lot of fun surrounding all of that but don’t forget, “Safety First”.

Now much of these are the same things your Mom yelled out the door or pure Common Sense, but I think that they bear repeating. To me, there are three parts of Halloween Safety – 1) Be Seen, 2) Walk Safe, and 3) Check it Out.

So, first rule in our house is “Be Seen!” Help your kids choose costumes that make them visible. “But, Traci, have you seen the costumes? Most of them are dark, black even!” I know. I know. My son is Iron Man and my daughter is a Vampire Princess. Both are dark red and black. So believe me, I understand. So assuming that you, like myself, cannot convince your children to wear an all white costume, there are other options.

Flashlights are great and if you can get your child to carry one consistently through the night, that’s awesome. But if that’s not happening; try these. We buy multiple glow sticks. Try placing the glow sticks in their buckets (cool effect, by the way), and if you have you have very young children, place them several places on the stroller. Hang them off your belt or purse. Remember, if they don’t see you, they probably won’t see your kiddos, so don’t forget yourself. There is also glow tape that can be stuck to hems of skirts, belts, and shoe laces. It can be cut to allow it to be minimally visible on the costume while still able to reflect light. To avoid push-back from your kiddo, be creative in the placement but don’t forget the back. That’s when you most need the kids to be visible as they obviously aren’t looking.

Now you can be distinguished from the night but, there’s much more you can do. Stay together in groups. If your children are older and no longer want to walk with you, make sure that they stay in a group of friends. Personally, I like to keep in eyeshot of my son’s group. At least early on, so I may observe how well the group stays together. If you find your child is consistently ahead or behind the group, consider finding them a distinct partner or encouraging him or her to walk with you. There is safety in numbers in more ways than one.

Which brings me to Rule Two, “Walk Safe”. No one needs to Trick-or-Treat alone and the more people you walk with, the more fun. And the more visible. But remind your kiddos that being in a group is not enough. They still need to follow all the rules of traffic and of stranger danger. With traffic, my mom gave me great advice. She taught me that cars are looking for people at the intersections but are less aware in the straightaways. So try greeting all the houses on one side of the street and then cross once and do the other side. Limit your mid-street crosses. Also, be aware of walking through parked cars. You never know when someone who is tired, has a screaming, cranky child in the back seat just wanting to get home is pulling out. As to strangers, keep an eye on the peripheries of your group. Note if anyone seems to be hanging about that is not part of your group. Again, it’s just about making sure the fun is never over-ridden by a tragedy.

Finally, “Check it Out!” You have survived the evening. Your kids rush in with their haul and they begin the dump. But I say, “whoa!’ We do examine the candy packages. Anything opened in anyway, disappears. We only keep handmade items from families that we know personally. We then allow two or three pieces to appease the sweet tooth. We then put the rest up to be distributed a few at a time over the days (or weeks) to come. For our family, we feel comfortable with this level of inspection. I know that there are those who swap out all the gained candy for candy that they have bought themselves.   You may know your neighbors well enough to feel safe without step three. Just do what feels right for your family.

I’m now adding Rule Four – enjoy yourself! Remember do it right, do it fun!