Socializing Babies

 Play Dates are Fun, Right?

October 4, 2010 by Traci Shannon

What can we parents do to facilitate successful play dates?

•First, keep it casual. If it is a first play date, I recommend meeting at a park or a restaurant with a playscape. Both parents are present and the children have a little more space to get to know each other in a neutral environment. (Let’s be honest, that is not a bad idea for the parents, as well). As the space is neutral, there is no territorial issues, no preferred toys to fight over.

•I also think that early play dates should include the parents, especially with younger children. This provides both a sense of security and structure for the children. It allows the parents to see each discipline style and whether there is a likely compatibility. And I am a big believer in the gut. This time allows you to feel out this other parent. Would you feel safe with a drop-off play date? This is an opportunity to ask questions on subjects of safety, e.g. do they have a pool? Do they have a gun in the house? If so, how is it stored?

•Be age-appropriate. When choosing a location and a time of day, consider the age of the children. With younger children, don’t forget to factor in naps and snack times. Tired and/or hungry children are grumpy children. It is hard to “be a good friend” when a tummy is grumbling. With older children, remember that they may be tired at the end of a school day. A quieter play date may be in order for some children. If you do want to plan around food time, consider packing a snack or taking advantage of the many restaurants that offer play areas.

•Keep your expectations low. When encouraging your child to reach out and make friends, it is easy to want magic to happen every time. Making friends is a growth process. A single bad play date does not necessarily indicate future problems. Be willing to call it a day and try again at another time. Remember this, too, when meeting the parents. Our children choose their own friends. We don’t necessarily have to be friends with their parents, as long as we feel comfortable and safe with them. It’s great when it happens but it is okay when it doesn’t.

Six Tips to Create a Babysitting Exchange

September 22, 2010 by Morningside Mom

Every couple needs a break. And every parent needs a babysitter. But with babysitting fees being what they are and most of our budgets already strapped, affording any variety of date night is a challenge. The best way around this issue is to participate in a babysitter exchange. Here some tips to set one up where you live.

•Trusted Friends: The best place to begin is with trusted friends. Find local parents you connect with often and see how they feel about the idea. Parents make the best babysitters plus they often enjoy the time “off” from their own nightly routine.

•Numbers: The more parents in your swap, the less pressure there will be on all of you to babysit often.

•Network: If you are looking for more parents, contact friends in local moms groups, churches, PTAs or at your child’s school.

•Keep track: To keep it fair, a record should be kept when a parent swaps so that everyone has a chance at childcare. Some babysitting exchanges use tokens. If you have a token, you pass it onto the parent who sits for you next. When you sit for a parent, you earn a token.

•Daytime swaps: All kinds of appointments (the kind that you can’t bring your children to) happen during the day. Make sure your group has an option for daytime swaps which can turn into fun play dates for your children too.

•Schedule: If your exchange begins to grow, it is in everyone’s best interest to keep track of a schedule. Create an online group or Google calendar for easy discussion and planning.